Feeling Introverted Today

Mornings are always hard for me and have been since day one. I was even born in the middle of the night. I’ve said before that I only way I could become a morning person is to marry one. That’s not to say that I get things done in the morning just that it isn’t when I’m most alert or creative. Today was no different, I set the alarm for a late morning but a night of tossing and turning offered no respite. My breakfast preparation was efficient. And after coffee I was still dragging myself into the shower. I picked out my clothes, fixed my hair and left the house.
The sun blinded me as I regretted every step away from my home and my choice in clothing. I’m overdressed, the weather is beautiful but my mood isn’t aligned with the burning orb in the sky. It is one of the days of introversion for me, a day when I need to be invisible, and in New York City, almost impossible to do.
Entering the subway station, it occurs to me that I’m forced to take to man in the token booth. I finished my transaction after the allowed customary questions but it is too much energy to use today. Swiping my metrocard, I hurried up the stairs before the train’s departure, I’m obliged to say, “Hello.” to track workers who flirt without end to every female passenger. Got to my seat, in my usual corner, in my usual car. As the train moved from station to station, it fills with others going in the same direction. About half an hour into the trip, it’s announced that, “We’re being held in the station and we ask that you are patient during the hold up.”. It is a normal circumstance on any day but not welcomed today.
While the time passes, I reflect how different I am from my mother in a situation like this. She enjoys crowds of people and revels in the noise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not agoraphobic, I just have days where I want to withdraw from the daily chaos. I think everyone can relate to that even if they don’t live here.
Don’t mind me, I’m just taking time out to have deeper than usual thoughts on the train.

Rendezvous en New York

12 thoughts on “Feeling Introverted Today

  1. I think we all have days like this, at least I know I do.
    “my mood isn’t aligned with the burning orb in the sky” and I certainly know that feeling very well!
    Great work!

  2. Sometimes doing absolutely nothing, all by your lonesome, is the best possible way to feel better. I hope you find some time to yourself…away from the burning orb and flirting track workers. 🙂

    1. Lol! Unfortunately< I have a love hate relationship with the burning orb, she's beautiful just the timing. And the flirting track workers ... well are passing time I guess. I usually ignore it as long as they remain respectful. Thanks.

  3. Being a country/small city person, it seems to me that it would be hard to be visible in NYC. I feel most invisible when I’m in a crowd. I guess it is true that little ducks like small puddles. At least I can find myself almost every day; hope your find yourself – at least most days. I enjoy your thoughts.

    1. I never feel totally invisible and I don’t in small towns either. I’m sure if its’ the amount of communication or the burn out from the microwave society we live in, its very draining on an introverted person to be social all the time. I like to be with company who understand that if I’m quiet it doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy and that is not always possible because you are outside of your home or around strangers that want to interact. The fallacy is that New Yorkers are always angry and don’t talk, definitely not true. I’m not sure most relate but sometimes I don’t want to talk at all and that’s ok.

What do you think? I would like to know.

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